Monday, February 25, 2013

85th Academy Awards aka the shit I sit through to see George and Jean

By Sati. Monday, February 25, 2013 ,
  • This has been the worst Oscar ceremony since Hathaway and Franco presented. God I cannot believe I stayed up for this. Jean and George aside.
  • Charlize Theron and Amy Adams looked like goddesses
  • Nicole Kidman and Naomi Watts wore hideous dresses. But nothing beats Anne Hathaway - her nipples were visible. Anything to distract people from the speech, I suppose.
  • There were plenty of white dresses there, but the show stealer was little Wallis girl who looked like little princess and had a puppy purse!
  • Seth Macfarlane is horrible. Those cheap shots at Dujardin and Rihanna were tasteless. The song was one of the worst things ever.
  • Theron danced with Channing Tatum. She is like a princess. Or an angel.
  • That whole opening bit was one of the worst I have ever seen. I hope later that night Khaleesi dumped MacFarlane. Seriously you are not Hugh Jackman. Amy Adams joke? Oh, God. Philip Seymour Hoffman was actually there and all they could do was write such trash? Shame!
  • The only funny moment was the joke about Tommy Lee Jones not laughing.
  • Christoph Waltz is now two time Academy Award winner! Oh my God, I thought it was too soon for him to win again but my God!
  • Nicholson is sitting there with his jaw dropped and with shades on. All we need now is Cage there.
  • McCarthy and Rudd presenting was just as bad as the host.
  • I loathe MacFarlane. He took cheap shot at Clooney saying Q. Wallis will be too old to date him in 16 years. They made a quick shot to Clooney whose reaction was funnier than anything MacFarlane will do in his whole life.Yep, that's a bottle on that gif.
  • Skyfall lost for cinematography. Wow.
  • Most disrespectful music cut off? Absolutely. Some people worked hard, maybe all their lives to make those movies and you cut them off with Jaws theme?
  • I just stopped caring about categories after 30 minutes. I don't remember it ever happening before. 
  • So you can ask anyone to present music from Bond films and you choose Halle Berry
  • Weren't they all supposed to be there though? All Bond actors? I don't think even Daniel Craig was there. This what was being hyped for weeks? Really?
  • Jaime Foxx was presenting. *eyeroll*
  • Liam Neeson presenting!!!
  • I won't tell you the winners because I wasn't really paying attention to most, you know on account of me caring about 3 or 4 categories.
  • 80 minutes in - MacFarlane made unfunny jokes about Dujardin, Clooney and Prometheus. What else will happen? I keep hoping someone will punch him in the face.
  • Zeta Jones actually sang All that Jazz. Looking almost as hot as she did decade ago.
  • For musical tribute they chose Dreamgirls and Jennifer Hudson got a standing ovation. God help them all.
  • Les Miserables actors sang too hell even Russel Crowe got in to sing and he looked like he was about to laugh his ass off. Standing ovation there too, what the hell?
  • TIE! In sound editing category - Zero Dark Thirty and Skyfall. Can't remember last time it happened.
  • One time you should have used the JAWS theme to cut someone off - Anne Hathaway. So let me get that straight - documentaries, shorts - don't matter. They have 30 seconds to talk. But Mrs nipple gets on stage and God forbid you cut her off? Gross. By all means give Annie all the time so she could hyperventilate.
  • Christopher Plummer was funnier than the host and presenters combined when he presented. You don't have to be disgusting and tacky to be funny. Sophistication is something to try.
  • I think God personally came to Earth and created George Clooney. He presented In Memoriam so after they stopped showing him and rolled in that sad montage I went to pee. Sorry. I've been drinking lots of water in anticipation for him and Dujardin on stage.
  • I think at one point MacClown said the cast of Promethus will appear. Did I dream it? Because they didn't.
  • Adele was fantastic!!! Her winning was so cute!
  • Nicole Kidman talked about SLP, Django Unchained and Amour. She was really fun on stage but Tarantino didn't look like he was amused. No tables with booze at the Oscars, I guess. He should have shared that bottle with Clooney.
  • Kristen Stewart and Daniel Radcliffe presented Production Design together. I get nervous whenever I see her on stage. She is such a wreck because of all those senseless haters. It's like that South Park episode where they would torment starlets to drive them to suicide.
  • Great to see Danna win for the score. Too bad it's one year too late. Moneyball was fucking amazing.
  •  Tarantino is a lucky man. Not only did he win his second Oscar as a writer and got it from Charlize, his first words were that she is his neighbor. Woah!
  • Standing ovation for the lovely Ang Lee and the 4th Oscar for Life of Pi
  • Jean Dujardin is so hot. He gave the Oscar to Lawrence who didn't even hug him or kiss him but in all fairness she did trip and fall and he helped her out. That for me would be better than winning the Oscar. The only thing better would be if he picked her up and carried her to the mike. Hell I'd fall on purpose and sat on my ass on the stairs until he did that. Oh that guy running to her aid from the crowd on the gif is none other than Hugh Jackman.
  • DDL won obviously, his speech was quite funny and adorable!
  • Nicholson presented Best Picture - I was worried because we all know what happened last time he did. Michelle OBAMA joined him via livestream. Argo won which is great because most of all it meant Clooney will be on the stage again.
  • Least exciting Oscars in a long time. I share Jack's expression:

  • 48 comments:

    1. I agree with all of this. But I'm a huge Affleck (I know, I know) fan so I really enjoyed his speech. But MacFarlane was terrible. There's a way to be hilarious without being a complete jackass.

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      1. He was so bad. I hope he never hosts again. Such a clown.

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    2. It was OK. Seth McFarlane had some moments that were good but some that weren't so good.

      I am happy that Amour, Ang Lee, Christoph Waltz, QT won. I was surprised Jennifer Lawrence won though when she tripped, I was like "Oh shit..." but thankfully, Jean and Hugh were able to help her. I'm happy she said Happy Birthday to Emmanuelle Riva. I didn't know it was her birthday today.

      Shirley Bassey... she's still got it. Adele's performance was the best and I'm glad she won the Oscar.

      And here's my reaction to Anne's win: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEHMCeJ1zOY

      "It came true...." Oh come on. How can you not like that?

      Then again... there's that Oscar curse... oh no...

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      1. I find Anne so overly sweet it's as if I was forced to eat a cup of sugar. Most of it comes off as labored too and if someone can't be effortless when they are this sweet it looks like the world's most boring act.

        I hope Oscar curse gets her and she disappears for a while. This will be best for her.

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      2. OK.... have her seen her post-Oscar promo:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVaPb24VJWo

        That is what really happened.

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    3. I agree, some of Seth's jokes were kind of mean-spirited. I loved Halle Berry's dress, and agree with you about Charlize. How do you make all those GIFs?

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      1. Photoshop. I only make them if I want to show something and it's not on tumblr.

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    4. I'll be watching a replay tonight because I was at work while this was on, so I can't comment on the quality of the ceremony just yet (I'll drop by later to confirm my thoughts). I"m pretty happy with the winners though. I know you're not a Hathaway fan, but I really do think she's lovely and I thought it was nice to see her win (I will say some photo's I saw of her dress did make it look...unfortunate). I would have preferred to see Riva win over Lawrence, but JLaw is pretty lovely as well :)
      Aaaannnd...what happened last time Nicholason presented? I don't remember!!!!

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      1. Last time he presented Crash won over Brokeback Mountain which was one of the worst things ever and I don't mean just on Oscars.

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      2. Even Nicholson sounded surprised when he announced Crash.

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    5. Ya know what, i'm really glad I didn't stay up. I was tempted but just decided to catch up with it in the morning and it really doesn't sound as if I missed anything. All seems a little dull. Also, what's with Joaquin Phoenix? I thought he hated all the awards stuff. Stay at home then!

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      1. It was really boring. He does but I think the studio forced him to come, he wasn't hiding his anger over it.

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    6. I'm tired so will comment more later but I loved Macfarlane. He didn't with all of his jokes but was hilarious with plenty, much like Family Guy.

      We can agree to disagree on this one ;)

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      1. I kept hoping someone will throw garbage at him :P

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    7. Agree about Anne Hathaway's dress, just didn't work. Charlize Theron on the other hand looked a million bucks.
      I liked the intro bits with with Captain Kirk from Star Trek, and cell phone joke about Lincoln/DDL, but the dancing and musical theme was a bit boring. Speeches were mostly dull, except J Lawrence tripping, and sound category a tie. Ben Affleck and Adele speeches not bad.
      Maybe funniest moment was Joaquin Phoenix :)

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      1. Oh God he couldn't care less about that whole thing :D I loved the clips of him this whole Oscar season.

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    8. I liked MacFarlene as a host, but some of his jokes did fall flat. I love when they cut to Joaquin, he looked like he was rolling. Someone on Twitter said that Christoph Waltz is like that professor you have a crush on in college, but secretly want him to spank you with a ruler. (or something like that) That is so true. Watlz is such a stud. And just when I thought it wasn't possible for Hugh Jackman to get any more attractive, he runs to Jennifer Lawrence's aid.

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      1. He was so bored :D Oh my that is a very good description ^^

        That was so cool! He also lifted that tiny E! host on the red carpet effortlessly :)

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    9. I honestly loved Jennifer Lawrence's dress. THAT'S an Oscar gown. Hathaway should take note. The 90s want their dress back.

      Did Zeta Jones really sing live? I was convinced she didn't??

      And there's an animated gif somewhere that shows that Jackman AND Cooper ran to her aid; he's just not in the shot above <3

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      1. I don't know about Zeta singing, either way that whole musical tribute was pretty bad but she looked good :P

        I saw that one, those are REAL men for sure! <3

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    10. Great highlights Sati! I think next year I might go back to doing this instead of live bloggin'... it's quite exhausting! I'm not fond of MacFarlane either, but as I said on my blog, I had such a low expectations about him so I can't possibly be disappointed, ahah. I'm not gonna say anything else about the Bond tribute (heck if you could even call it that).

      As for Lawrence, I'd fall on my face too if Jean's on stage waiting for me!! Her dress is too bridal-like, to me my fave dress is Charlize because she wore is sooo well. Hathaway's nipply dress is not very flattering. I mean of ALL the dresses she could've worn, she picked THAT one??

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      1. It's her worst dress of the season - even the one she wore on Les Mis premiere, where she didn't wear panties was better. This was a freaking disaster. My pj's look better than that.

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      2. She didn't wear panties to Les Miz premiere??! Nuts! Ahah yeah, you certainly have a great taste in fashion. I guess money can't buy taste, that's why a lot of these actresses need a stylist. Even so they still wear the most puzzling stuff!

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      3. She didn't, there are shots of her vay-vay everywhere, I guess any publicity is good one before the Oscars.

        Yeah, I agree but I don't know what kind of stylist would let her go out wearing that - probably the kind who dislikes her more than I do :P

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    11. Haha, I honestly didn't hate it. Some jokes bombed or were in poor taste, but I enjoyed this ceremony more than the past few years. If it helps, I was happy that Clooney won his second Oscar. ;)

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      1. Yes! Though I still hope Leading Actor Oscar is in his future.

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    12. Wow, there are a lot of people you don't like... I try to focus on the ones we agree on but there's a lot we don't. I do agree that the shots at Rihanna and Jean were tasteless but I enjoyed MacFarlane much more than you did. I'm sick and tired of safe humor at the oscars so it was nice to see some things crossing the line that weren't spoken by Ricky Gervais.

      Anyways, I know we disagree on Hathaway but come on, how can you complain about Kristen Stewart's senseless haters but still hate on Hathaway so much? Oh well, I know we all have people that we can't stand for our own reasons, I'm just happy to see people everyone seems to be able to agree on like DDL and Jennifer Lawrence.

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      1. There are plenty more I like. I'm so sick and tired of people being like 'oh so negative'. Why on Earth should my blog be only about praise?

        Ricky Gervais is actually intelligent and his jokes are clever, MacFarlane acted like horny frat boy, while being high.

        Are you serious? Hathaway is a grown ass woman who brought it on herself by acting so fake in every single interview, first parading the fact she lost all that weight and now saying 'oh I don't want to give a bad example' after every single academy member out there already heard about her 'grand sacrifice'. She whored herself in literally every single talk show out there, making sure everyone hears how important her work is. She acted as she came out with cure for cancer.

        Stewart faced unjustified hatred since she was a teenager. When she limps because she hurts her foot people say she is 'stoned'. When Lawrence falls she is 'cute'. I can't stress how disgusting it is.

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    13. Though I do have to add I completely agree with you about Lena Dunham now, I've been watching Girls with my girlfriend and she's starting to annoy the living crap out of me

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      1. She is gross. I'm offended as a woman that she not only exist but some poor girls out there identify with that mess.

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    14. Dunham is playing an annoying character, in person she is incredibly nice.

      I think a lot of people don't care for Girls because there isn't the separation in age from the characters that older audiences have. Like Woody Allen says, time plus tragedy equals comedy, we don't have the time yet.

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      1. I read far too much about her blatant racism and ignorance she depicts in real life to call her nice.

        I don't care about it because it's offensive show...I mean come on, jokes about HIV and miscarriages? That's horrible.

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    15. I didn't mind MacFarlane -- he was a lot better than Hathaway/Franco at least. I will agree that it wasn't an especially exciting show though. Too many obvious winners, and what was up with all of the musical numbers anyway? More time could have been given to the speeches instead of trying to cram in so many songs. This isn't the Grammy's, after all.

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      1. Absolutely. The musical numbers were lame and I'm not even sure why Dreamgirls were included. That was a gigantic waste of time and the music cutting off speeches was hugely disrespectful.

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    16. You're funny as always Sati ;) I agree that Charlize Theron is otherworldly gorgeus, and she really looked it Sunday night!

      I wanna see Anne Hathaway start dating Jean Dujardin so your head explodes. :D I think that would be comedy gold!

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      1. Sorry to disappoint you but I don't much care who dates whom. But it's good to know that comedy gold for you equals my head exploding :)

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    17. Great post. :-) The fact that Wallis was carrying a puppy purse makes me smile. I'll have to show that to Trisha. And Clooney seems like such a class act, doesn't he?

      Otherwise, it sounds like I didn't miss much.

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      1. I think she had a puppy purse on every single ceremony this season, they were all different but it was always the shape of the puppy :)

        Clooney should host, that show on Sunday was just a disaster.

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    18. Ok, I admit that Seth MacFarlane bungled the intro…or 8 intros to be exact.
      (1)monologue
      (2)the Captain Kirk bit
      (3)the “We Saw Your Boobs” number
      (4)Channing Tatum & Charlize Theron dancing to Seth singing “The Way You Look Tonight”
      (5)Flight with Sock puppets
      (6)Daniel Radcliffe and Joseph Gordon-Levitt singing “High Hopes”
      (7)Backstage with Sally Field as “The Flying Nun”
      (8) singing “Be Our Guest”.

      And that was all in the first 15 minutes!! I mean did the producers have ADD or what?! BUT I feel Seth MacFarlane was a lot classier (read safe) as the evening progressed. Anyone who is familiar with his type of comedy knows he usually is a lot dirtier. Did the Oscar producers even see Ted? Overall I thought he did a fine job. Not great, but not horrible either. At least he got people to tune in. Highest rated telecast since 2007 I heard.

      P.S. I guess the way Anne Hathaway’s dress was finished in the front made it look like her chest was cold, but that was the design of an admittedly unflattering dress, not her actual body showing through.

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      1. I think the numbers could be due to the two popular actresses being the frontrunners for wins - Lawrence is so beloved now, Hathaway was basically promoting her ass off too. I have to say it's hard for me to imagine someone watching 3h of Oscars just for MacFarlane.

        Yeah, but the way it looked was quite awful. I mean I admit when she has nice dresses, the one on GG was pretty but this thing....terrible.

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    19. I agree with you on some things, but Halle Berry coming out to introduce the Bond retrospective makes perfect sense because this is the Oscars, it was a Bond tribute, and she is the only "Bond girl" to win an Oscar.

      And I've got to agree with the other poster that called you out on all the Anne Hathaway hatred. It's fine if you hate her, but don't then call someone else out for hating someone you happen to like. You can't have it both ways. Either you've got to allow them their hatred, or you've got to rein yours in before you point out theirs. I'm sure they feel their reasons for their hatred are just as justified as you feel yours are.

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      1. Kim Basinger played a bond girl in Never Say Never Again. She later won an Oscar in L.A. Confidential. Never Say Never Again was not produced by Eon Productions so not part of the official Bond franchise, but it is based on the James Bond novel Thunderball.

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    20. Riggghttttt...because saying 22 year old gave blow jobs to present an Oscar, calling her stoned when she walks on stage limping with hurt foot and calling her a slut is exactly the same as me disliking Hathaway for parading her performance in Les Mis in every single talk show as if she was the Christ crucified.

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    21. I'm new here, but since one of our (current) mutual obsessions is Lee Pace, then I considered your blog to be the best possible place on the internet (or on Earth) to voice my main problem with the evening: Lee Pace's "Congress must never declare equal those who God created unequal" was not featured in the Lincoln montage, that only was consistent of a soapy collage of Day Lewis shots. Being a diehard fan of Pace, then it would have made up for McFarlane "jokes" and so many other things that evening. Just sayin’

      - Moody

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      1. You're right, that whole montage was just so boring. They did use that moment during GG montage and it was much, much better.

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    22. Ha ha. I am still a bit ambivalent about MacFarlane as host.Did not know really what to make of him. I told myself I would not watch the Oscars but you know I did. I loved the Charlize dancing bit and the Adele singing bit and the JHudson singing bit (although my friend who I was live texting the Oscars with thought she was a bit of a screamer) - Les Mis performance was a bit of a letdown, although my mom was like that guy (Hugh Jackman) is a good singer :) I was taken aback by the abruptness of the James Bond tribute (I use that term advisedly).

      Poor KStew … I am certainly not a hater but she just had hot mess written all over her. She obviously had better places to be.

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    23. I actually loved last year's Oscar ceremony. I found Macfarlane as funny as he was awkward. I was on my feet when I saw Zeta-Jones perform 'All That Jazz.' (I adore Chicago). I sang my heart out when the cast of Les Miserables sang 'One Day More.' Then I was on my feet actually applauding the win of Ang Lee, who I thought made a much better film than Ben Affleck. As fake as Hathaway may seem, she really deserved to win so I was happy. Christoph Waltz was a worthy winner.

      The low point of my evening was DDL winning, as well as J-Law winning. They both gave great performances, but they were clearly inferior to some of the competition. Phoenix should have won, and any of the other nominees were more worthy than J-Law in my opinion.

      I enjoyed reading your reaction though! It amazes me how different we are in respect to what we find entertaining :)

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