85th Academy Awards aka the shit I sit through to see George and Jean

This has been the worst Oscar ceremony since Hathaway and Franco presented. God I cannot believe I stayed up for this. Jean and George aside.

Charlize Theron and Amy Adams looked like goddesses

Nicole Kidman and Naomi Watts wore hideous dresses. But nothing beats Anne Hathaway - her nipples were visible. Anything to distract people from the speech, I suppose.

There were plenty of white dresses there, but the show stealer was little Wallis girl who looked like little princess and had a puppy purse!

Seth Macfarlane is horrible. Those cheap shots at Dujardin and Rihanna were tasteless. The song was one of the worst things ever.

Theron danced with Channing Tatum. She is like a princess. Or an angel.

That whole opening bit was one of the worst I have ever seen. I hope later that night Khaleesi dumped MacFarlane. Seriously you are not Hugh Jackman. Amy Adams joke? Oh, God. Philip Seymour Hoffman was actually there and all they could do was write such trash? Shame!

The only funny moment was the joke about Tommy Lee Jones not laughing.

Christoph Waltz is now two time Academy Award winner! Oh my God, I thought it was too soon for him to win again but my God!

Nicholson is sitting there with his jaw dropped and with shades on. All we need now is Cage there.

McCarthy and Rudd presenting was just as bad as the host.

I loathe MacFarlane. He took cheap shot at Clooney saying Q. Wallis will be too old to date him in 16 years. They made a quick shot to Clooney whose reaction was funnier than anything MacFarlane will do in his whole life.Yep, that's a bottle on that gif.

Skyfall lost for cinematography. Wow.

Most disrespectful music cut off? Absolutely. Some people worked hard, maybe all their lives to make those movies and you cut them off with Jaws theme?

I just stopped caring about categories after 30 minutes. I don't remember it ever happening before. 

So you can ask anyone to present music from Bond films and you choose Halle Berry? 

Weren't they all supposed to be there though? All Bond actors? I don't think even Daniel Craig was there. This what was being hyped for weeks? Really?

Jaime Foxx was presenting. *eyeroll*

Liam Neeson presenting!!!

I won't tell you the winners because I wasn't really paying attention to most, you know on account of me caring about 3 or 4 categories.

80 minutes in - MacFarlane made unfunny jokes about Dujardin, Clooney and Prometheus. What else will happen? I keep hoping someone will punch him in the face.

Zeta Jones actually sang All that Jazz. Looking almost as hot as she did decade ago.

For musical tribute they chose Dreamgirls and Jennifer Hudson got a standing ovation. God help them all.

Les Miserables actors sang too hell even Russel Crowe got in to sing and he looked like he was about to laugh his ass off. Standing ovation there too, what the hell?

TIE! In sound editing category - Zero Dark Thirty and Skyfall. Can't remember last time it happened.

One time you should have used the JAWS theme to cut someone off - Anne Hathaway. So let me get that straight - documentaries, shorts - don't matter. They have 30 seconds to talk. But Mrs nipple gets on stage and God forbid you cut her off? Gross. By all means give Annie all the time so she could hyperventilate.

Christopher Plummer was funnier than the host and presenters combined when he presented. You don't have to be disgusting and tacky to be funny. Sophistication is something to try.

I think God personally came to Earth and created George Clooney. He presented In Memoriam so after they stopped showing him and rolled in that sad montage I went to pee. Sorry. I've been drinking lots of water in anticipation for him and Dujardin on stage.

I think at one point MacClown said the cast of Promethus will appear. Did I dream it? Because they didn't.

Adele was fantastic!!! Her winning was so cute!

Nicole Kidman talked about SLP, Django Unchained and Amour. She was really fun on stage but Tarantino didn't look like he was amused. No tables with booze at the Oscars, I guess. He should have shared that bottle with Clooney.

Kristen Stewart and Daniel Radcliffe presented Production Design together. I get nervous whenever I see her on stage. She is such a wreck because of all those senseless haters. It's like that South Park episode where they would torment starlets to drive them to suicide.

Great to see Danna win for the score. Too bad it's one year too late. Moneyball was fucking amazing.

 Tarantino is a lucky man. Not only did he win his second Oscar as a writer and got it from Charlize, his first words were that she is his neighbor. Woah!

Standing ovation for the lovely Ang Lee and the 4th Oscar for Life of Pi

Jean Dujardin is so hot. He gave the Oscar to Lawrence who didn't even hug him or kiss him but in all fairness she did trip and fall and he helped her out. That for me would be better than winning the Oscar. The only thing better would be if he picked her up and carried her to the mike. Hell I'd fall on purpose and sat on my ass on the stairs until he did that. Oh that guy running to her aid from the crowd on the gif is none other than Hugh Jackman.

DDL won obviously, his speech was quite funny and adorable!

Nicholson presented Best Picture - I was worried because we all know what happened last time he did. Michelle OBAMA joined him via livestream. Argo won which is great because most of all it meant Clooney will be on the stage again.

Least exciting Oscars in a long time. I share Jack's expression: