Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Academy Award Nominations 2012 aka What an Embarrassment!

By Sati. Tuesday, January 24, 2012 ,
2011 has been the most amazing year - I have seen so many great movies, with so many wonderful performances. But never fear - the Academy will always manage to fuck up things for us movie goers. This list of nominations is so horrifying I'm still hoping it's some sort of sick joke. I mean I really admire Jennifer Lawrence - if I had to announce this crap I'd just pass out. Or punch the president of Academy.

Best Motion Picture of the Year
The Artist (2011)
The Descendants (2011)
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (2011)
The Help (2011)
Hugo (2011/II)
Midnight in Paris (2011)
Moneyball (2011)
The Tree of Life (2011)
War Horse (2011)
Never mind the fact "The Descendants" suck. Never mind the fact "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" and "Young Adult" aren't here. "War Horse" and "ELaIC" prove one thing to us - Academy is a whore. It swallows everything made by Steven Spielberg or containing Tom Hanks, no matter how cheesy and ridiculous it is.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role
where is Fass's nomination?!
Demián Bichir for A Better Life (2011)
George Clooney for The Descendants (2011)
Jean Dujardin for The Artist (2011)
Gary Oldman for Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011)
Brad Pitt fot Moneyball (2011)
I just want to cry. I want to cry so bad. Michael Fassbender who delivered so many great performances last year, won so many awards for "Shame" didn't get nominated. I can't believe it. It's horrible, it's just so horrible. Oldman's performance is mediocre at best yet he gets nominated. I really hope Pitt or Dujardin win, but at this point Academy will probably give Oscar to Clooney because he is such a good guy. Because who the hell cares about the quality of performances anymore.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role
Glenn Close for Albert Nobbs (2011)
Viola Davis for The Help (2011)
Rooney Mara for The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)
Meryl Streep for The Iron Lady (2011)
Michelle Williams for My Week with Marilyn (2011)
This category is at least halfway decent and contains one and only thing that makes me happy this year - nomination for Rooney Mara. But where is Charlize? Where is Tilda? And Meryl is winning, because again - oh, she plays real person blah blah. 
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role
Kenneth Branagh for My Week with Marilyn (2011)
Jonah Hill for Moneyball (2011)
Nick Nolte for Warrior (2011)
Christopher Plummer for Beginners (2010)
Max von Sydow for Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (2011)
Let me explain to you how bad it is - I'm now able to say "Academy Award nominee Jonah Hill" but I can't say the same about Fassbender. At least Albert Brooks didn't get nominated. 

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role
Bérénice Bejo for The Artist (2011)
Jessica Chastain for The Help (2011)
Melissa McCarthy for Bridesmaids (2011)
Janet McTeer for Albert Nobbs (2011)
Octavia Spencer for The Help (2011)
Good choices all around, even McCarthy. But this year there were so many fantastic performances by actresses in supporting roles even Academy wouldn't be able to screw this up. I'm especially happy about Janet McTeer who was even better in "Albert Nobbs" than Glenn Close.
Best Achievement in Directing
Woody Allen for Midnight in Paris (2011)
Michel Hazanavicius for The Artist (2011)
Terrence Malick for The Tree of Life (2011)
Alexander Payne for The Descendants (2011)
Martin Scorsese for Hugo (2011/II)
Mallick...Payne...eh...where is Fincher? Where is McQueen? Where is Reitman? What the hell?

Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen
The Artist (2011): Michel Hazanavicius
Bridesmaids (2011): Kristen Wiig, Annie Mumolo
Margin Call (2011): J.C. Chandor
Midnight in Paris (2011): Woody Allen
Jodaeiye Nader az Simin (2011): Asghar Farhadi
Bridesmaids. Bridesmaids! For screenplay?! What are they smoking over there?
Marion, what is happening?!
Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material Previously Produced or Published
The Descendants (2011): Alexander Payne, Nat Faxon, Jim Rash
Hugo (2011/II): John Logan
The Ides of March (2011): George Clooney, Grant Heslov, Beau Willimon
Moneyball (2011): Steven Zaillian, Aaron Sorkin, Stan Chervin
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011): Bridget O'Connor, Peter Straughan
The Descendants gets nominated. The story of a dude who decides to look for his wife's lover as she is dying in the hospital. And he takes his kids with him because why on Earth let them spend last moments with their mom. This get nominated. This.

Best Achievement in Cinematography
The Artist (2011): Guillaume Schiffma
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011): Jeff Cronenweth
Hugo (2011/II): Robert Richardson
The Tree of Life (2011): Emmanuel Lubezki
War Horse (2011): Janusz Kaminski
That's one not bad. Dragon Tattoo, yey!
Best Achievement in Editing
The Artist (2011): Anne-Sophie Bion, Michel Hazanavicius
The Descendants (2011): Kevin Tent
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011): Angus Wall, Kirk Baxte
Hugo (2011/II): Thelma Schoonmaker
Moneyball (2011): Christopher Tellefsen
Moneyball! Dragon Tattoo! The Artist! So neither of those fine works is winning.

Best Achievement in Art Direction
The Artist (2011): Laurence Bennett, Gregory S. Hooper
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011): Stuart Craig, Stephenie McMillan
Hugo (2011/II): Dante Ferretti, Francesca Lo Schiavo
Midnight in Paris (2011): Anne Seibel, Hélène Dubreuil
War Horse (2011): Rick Carter, Lee Sandales
Oh my. Here we go Harry Potter fans. What a treat! We get art direction nod! Apparently only hobbits can get in Best Picture or Actor categories!
Best Achievement in Costume Design
Anonymous (2011/I): Lisy Christl
The Artist (2011): Mark Bridges
Hugo (2011/II): Sandy Powell
Jane Eyre (2011): Michael O'Connor
W.E. (2011): Arianne
Again - I am now able to say "W.E" universally criticized movie by Madonna is Oscar nominated, but "Shame" has fucking nothing.

Best Achievement in Makeup
Albert Nobbs (2011)
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011)
The Iron Lady (2011)
Oh my!! Pottermaniacs! Check this out!! Another superprestiguous nom! And we are probably losing to "The Iron Lady"!
Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Score
The Adventures of Tintin (2011): John Williams
The Artist (2011): Ludovic Bourc
Hugo (2011/II): Howard Shore
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011): Alberto Iglesias
War Horse (2011): John Williams
Sure. Because why nominate Moneyball. Or Ides of March. Or the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Or the Skin I Live in. Let's nominate John Williams again! Freaking twice in one category!

Best Achievement in Sound Mixing
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)
Hugo (2011/II)
Moneyball (2011)
Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)
War Horse (2011)
Academy Award nominated "Transformers". 0 nods for "Young Adult". 0 nods for "We need to talk about Kevin". See what I did there?
Best Achievement in Sound Editing
Drive (2011)
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)
Hugo (2011/II)
Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)
War Horse (2011)
"Drive" fans I'm sure you're ecstatic that Gosling and Movie got snubbed but glorious and gracious Academy gave you that one. 

Best Achievement in Visual Effects
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011)
Hugo (2011/II)
Real Steel (2011)
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)
Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)
Wait, wait. THREE nods for Transformers. ZERO nods for "Shame". ZERO nods for "Young Adult". ONE nod for "Drive".

I hope Uggie gets on the stage, stands on two feet and pisses on them.

14 comments:

  1. Thank you. I am so mad at the Fassbender snub. No not mad, ANGRY. So ANGRY. What a bunch of old geezers with no clue.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is how you write a fuckin' Oscar bash. Bravo. Yes, they are surefire whores. Just deplorable.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This. Everything about this. You've said it better than I could. A nomination for Jonah Hill...THREE #%!#!%! nominations for Transformers...and NOTHING for Shame? Really? Really? My faith in humanity has literally plummeted through the floor.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Great post! I do agree on most of what you said (especially Shame, Fassbender, Swinton and so on), but for me, Nolte and Oldman are very much deserving, they are great!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Bravo indeed. I kept listing my complaints about this year's nominations. I voiced my reaction about Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close's Best Picture nomination through this clip.

    Every complaint in that list I mentioned included numerous mentions about Michael Fassbender's penis.

    ReplyDelete
  6. ELaIC is NOT supposed to be focused on: Tom Hanks, Sandra Bullock, OR 9/11 (common complaints that I've heard.) Most people who have given it bad reviews honestly are so close-minded. Have you even read the book? It's about a mentally/socially disabled child on his journey to ease the grief of his father's death. But instead, people have complained that the kid was too retarded (seriously?) or there wasn't enough 9/11 or there was too much 9/11 or there wasn't enough Hanks/Bullock...people need to get their priorities straight and give the movie a chance with an open mind.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's not anyone's complaint. A movie tha didn't get bP nod in any of major awards has now BP Oscar nod. The issue is not what's in it and what isn't the issue is that somebody bribed people for this to happen.

      Delete
  7. dang, i still do wanna see albert nobbs, but i hope it doesn't look as all over the place as the trailer suggests. love your comments about the descendants. i still need to see that movie, but i am dragging my feet about it. I really wish Shame and Fassbender weren't snubbed....smh

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Albert Nobbs is very average but Close and especially McTeer make it worth watching. It kinda has Downton Abby vibe in the beginning, but then it's dull and dragging for too long. However I think it's definetly worth seeing.

      Delete
  8. This was quite funny. I love the passion behind it!

    Especially funny for me was the way you crossed categories with your nomination counts. Imagine if they gave Young adult a Visual Effects or Sound Editing nod so that it could get more credit than Transformers. Or how much explaining Fassbender would have to do if Shame showed up with a Makeup nod!

    Luckily I think Fassbender will be back soon enough, although he, Gosling and DiCaprio may have to wait until they're as old as Christopher Plummer before the Academy finally decides that they deserve to win something.

    Although I'm beginning to fear that Harry Potter won't even be able to pull out a single win for the entire series, even in the technical categories.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you!
      I think DiCaprio may have a shot next year at supporting - the Academy has this annoying trend of awarding lead man and women Supporting oscars and his performance in Django Unchained looks very unusal and that's what Academy likes. Gosling is also nominated quite frequently.

      Delete
  9. Everything here. Perfect. Fuck them for snubbing Michael Fassbender. Wanna join me in going all Magneto on the voters?

    ReplyDelete
  10. I tihnk it hurts them more if ratin fall. I'm gonna watch red carpet - if Uggie is there I'm watching the show, if not...I'm just gonna check the tumblr next day for funny gifs:D

    ReplyDelete
  11. The trailer for Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close with the U2 song which I blogged is great, sadly the film is getting lots of negative reviews so far.

    We need to talk about Kevin should have gotten nominated instead for best picture, and Tilda Swinton deserved a nomination too.

    ReplyDelete