played by: Matt LeBlanc
description: I love all six of Friends - I saw the series so many times, beginning when I was a little girl, that I practically grew up with those people. When it comes to the boys in the group they are all hilarious - sarcastic Chandler, unlucky Ross and adorable Joey. But it was Joey who always made me laugh the hardest. Struggling actor, ladies man and a guy who isn't very smart, but is always there for his friends. He loves food and girls the most - if he had to choose between the two it would be impossible for him - he "wants girls on bread". He usually takes his time in connecting the dots, he can't lie and he is awful at math. He loves Die Hard, sports, Baywatch and his pet penguin Hugzy.
favorite quote: 1) Sky is blue Ross and I had sex yesterday. 2) You know there already is Joseph stalin? 3) I thik it's ridiculous you haven't had sex in 3 months 4) I'm gonna take that book and beat you to death with it. 4) Rach, I do not love Hugsy. I like him the appropriate amount! 5) Chandler? 45 minutes? Well something is not right!
9. John Locke
played by: Terry O'Quinn
description: I love Lost. Despite the ridiculous ending and some of the worst characters I've seen - Nikki and Paulo - the series is insanely entertaining and when it was on air I kept waiting, week by week, for new episode. The thing that was the most enjoyable were the flawlessly written characters. It was hard to decide between Ben and Locke here, but I ultimately choose Locke, who I consider to be one of the best written characters on TV - John Locke is truly a tragic character - abandoned by his mother, crippled by his own father, left by his love. When he gets stranded on the mysterious island and gets he ability to walk back he becomes an enigmatic hero for the first time ever thinking he is special. He appears to have a special connection with the said island, he turns into a real man of faith which brings him the strength to stand up for himself for the first time in his life. The end the character faced is one of the most heartbreaking things I've ever seen.
favorite quote: 1) I'd say I hope that box is big enough for you to conjure yourself up another submarine in it 2) You know, Jack. You know that you're here for a reason. You know it. And if you leave this place, that knowledge is gonna eat you alive from the inside out... until you decide to come back.3) Hey... Hey don't you walk away from me! You don't know who you're dealing with! Don't ever tell me what I can't do, ever! This is destiny, this is destiny... This is my destiny! I'm supposed to do this, dammit! Don't tell me what I can't do! Don't tell me what I can't do!
8. Michael Kelso
played by: Ashton Kutcher
in: That 70's Show
description: Dumb, irresponsible but also charming and good looking, Kelso loves fooling around with girls, pimping out his van - the Shag mobile - and messing up with his friends. He is completely whipped by his bossy girlfriend Jackie and he is quite afraid of her although he cheats on her constantly. He loves playing with dogs, spitting into his brother Casey's socks and bragging about his sexual conquests. There is a recurring motive in the series where the friends sit in circle smoking weed and the camera move from one to another - no matter what is being discussed Kelso is always laughing like an idiot which never fails to make me laugh.
favorite quotes: 1) Autumn is harvest time for the farmer. At dawn, my dad and I were out in the fields, picking carrots fresh off the trees. 2) I want to return that rabbit into the wild so it could lay its eggs 3) I'm sticking to my original story! 4) But the good news is that as a duck you can move more easily on the water 5) Guys, I gotta tell you something. I'm omnipotent.6) Who cares, Fez. Your soul is like an Appendix, I don't even use it.
7. John Cage
played by: Peter MacNicol
in: Ally McBeal
description: Nicknamed Biscuit, he is awkward with women and people in general, but brilliant in the courtroom - John Cage is an odd little man. He needs to his Barry White in his head in order to feel confidence, he has a pilot that splashes the water in his toilet, he even has a tiny room hidden behind the bathroom in his firm. He has a frog named Stefan and when Stefan passes away he even hosts a ceremony in order to show his respect to his beloved friend. As much as I love the series apart from Ally John Cage is the only character that was a perfect balance of quirky and moving.
favorite quotes: 1) Unacceptable! 2) Not everything is like chicken counsel. 3) Beause it's not different! 4) I'm senior partner, checkout the damn firms resume. Senior partners dont have to tolerate snippy assed tones from platinum dyed Popsicles. 5) I have a stutter. To correct it, I sometimes focus on phonetically preemptive sounds. "Poughkeepsie" is one of them. It, also being a town in New York, it, uh, sometimes makes me think of and sometimes say things relating to New York. Uh, that time it triggered a memory the song, "New York, New York, " which was sung by Frank Sinatra. Perhaps you've heard of it
6. Sheldon Cooper
played by: Jim Parsons
in: The Big Bang Theory
description: Brilliant physicist who hates people, relationships and is scared of great deal of things - including birds, bacteria, buses, chickens and diseases. He despises geologists (calls them "dirt people"), people who don't have "dr" in front of their names and pretty much everyone who is not brilliant. He loves his mother, Firefly, all things sci-fi ad fantasy related, comic books and video games. At times of great distress he adopts dozens of cats.When he is ill everyone runs away as he becomes even more insufferable than usually - including asking people to sing "Soft Kitty" to him.He loves his grandma whom he calls "Meemaw" and his arch enemy is Will Wheaton from Star Trek.
favorite quotes: 1) Someone touched my board! Oh, God, my board! 2) One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad. 3) I'm not insane, my mother had me tested! 4) (When asked about the place he feels the most at home in) Sim city. 5) With the understanding that nothing changes what so ever - physical or otherwise, I would not object to us no longer characterizing you as not my girlfriend. 6) Nobody calls me Moonpie but Meemaw 7) Your Memaw died?
5. Eric Cartman
voiced by: Trey Parker
in: South Park
description: Cartman is a piece of work - he is lazy, he manipulates his mother into everything and there is an endless list of the things he hates - Jews, Hippies, homework, government, Justin Bieber, Family Guy...Cartman used to be just a spoiled brat with a very mean streak, but then Scott Tenorman episode happened and pure evil was born. He is the series funniest character and whenever he teams up with innocent Butters, well, legendary episodes happen. Also let's mention his epic collaboration with Cthulu. He will do whatever it takes for him to become rich, including starting a Christian Rock band and filming babies addicted to crack fighting over a basketball.
favorite quotes: 1) Screw you guys...I'm going home 2) Butters, you black asshole! 3) Guess what I have in my backyard? 30 aborted fetuses 4) Shut your God damn Jew mouth! 5) I have never in my life done anything just for the money. If I'm lying, may the Lord strike me down right now. 6) It’s an Afghanistan goat, so it can’t stay here, or else it’ll choke on the sweet air of freedom.
4. Michael Scott
played by: Steve Carell
in: The Office
description: Clueless and quite stupid - and I mean it in a very loving way - Michael Scott is the guy who cares too much - the problem is that his good intentions never make for something good actually happening. He genuinely cares for his co workers and he is trying to be a good boss, despite the fact he is quite awful at his job. He frequently encounters failures in his love life especially with his crazy girlfriend and his boss Jen Levinson.He hates HR Representative in his office - Toby - and their interactions are the funniest thing in the show. He has a crush on Ryan - young, good looking intern working in The Office. He frequently gets pop culture references wrong to hilarious effect - You're talking to me? Pacino, Raging Bull.
favorite quotes: 1) Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he’s really not a part of our family. Also, he’s divorced, so he’s really not a part of his family. 2) You may look around and see two groups here: white collar, blue collar. But I don’t see it that way, and you know why not? Because I am collar-blind. 3) If I had a gun, with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice. 4) In all the excitement, I forgot that my primary goal is to keep people safe. Women can't have fun if they don't feel safe. For example, Jan and I have a safe word in case things go too far. Foliage. And if one of us says that word, the other one has to stop. Although last time... she pretended she didn't hear me. 5) Can I just say that of all the idiots, in all the idiot villages, in all the idiot worlds-you, my friend, stand alone 6) I drove my car into a fucking lake.
3. Ron Swanson
played by: Nick Offerman
in: Parks and Recreation
description: The deputy director of Parks and Recreation department who despises the government and would like to see it privatized. He likes pretty brunettes, good food and hunting. His weakness are his two ex wives - both named Tammy - who always manage to manipulate him and change him either into a wuss or a sex crazed maniac. He hates dealing with people and his biggest nightmare comes true when he is forced to sit in a round desk where the tax payers can reach him. He is secretly a jazz musician called Duke Silver and he plays on the saxophone. He has a special bond with April, his assistant as he admires her hostility and apathy.
favorite quotes: 1) Never half ass two things, whole ass one thing. 2) Tom, I'm asking you as a man to stop this immediately! What the F***?! 3) The key to burning an ex-wife effigy is to dip it in paraffin wax and then toss the flaming bottle of isopropyl alcohol from a safe distance. Do not stand too close when you light an ex-wife effigy. 4) I'm going to type every word I know! Rectangle. America. Megaphone. Monday. Butthole. 5) April was supposed to be the moat that kept the citizen barbarians away from Swanson castle. Instead she blew up the castle and stabbed me in the face. 6) So you talked to Tammy? What's it like to stare in the eye of Satan's butt hole? 7) I have a hernia. I’ve had it for a while, and I’ve been ignoring it successfully. But this morning I made the mistake of sneezing. But as long as I sit still and don’t move my head or torso, I’m good. I got this.
2. Al Swearengen
played by: Ian McShane
description: Straight from my all time favorite TV series comes the character of Al in my all time favorite performance by an actor on TV - Ian McShane. In any other series that character would be a villain - but here, in a lawless land, he is a person we root for, even if he does horrible things. Al understands the world and knows how to play and manipulate others. But he also has a code and when the occasion requires that of him he can do a honorable or at the very least right thing. His glorious and epic monologues, the wisdom that comes off his mouth, is one of the best elements of the brilliant series.
favorite quotes: 1) Here’s my counter-offer to your counter-offer: go fuck yourself. 2) I'd rather try touching the moon than take on a whore's thinking.3) Who? Who? Who stole the fucking dope? Ah, Jesus! 4) Announcing your plans is a good way to hear God laugh. 5) I need to fuck something! TRIXIE! 6) The entire area of my fucking asshole is now one gigantic fucking throb. I have no idea what's transpiring in there.
1. Malcolm Tucker
played by: Peter Capaldi
in: The Thick of It
description: Slightly psychotic brilliant right hand to the Prime Minister. He is universally feared, when people see him walk in their office they pray they will not see his "bollocking face". He is brilliant in the way he stays one step ahead of everyone and everything that comes from his mouth is a pure gold.
favorite quotes: 1) You breathe a word of this to anyone, you mincing fucking CUNT, and I will tear your fucking skin off, I will wear it to your mother's birthday party, and I will rub your nuts up and down her leg whilst whistling Bohemian fucking Rhapsody, right? 2) You're about as funny as a blind toddler in a fucking minefiled 3) Stop fucking blinking! Or I will take your optic nerve and strangle you with it! 4) How much fucking shit is there on the menu and what fucking flavor is it? 5) I've got a to-do list here that's longer than a fucking Leonard Cohen song. 6) I mean the guy is an epic fuck-up. He's so dense, that light bends around him. 7) Darlin', I wouldn't fucking piss on you if you were fucking allergic to piss, right? 8) Do you know 90% of household dust is made of dead human skin? That's what you are to me. 9) Doug Hayes is a massive abortion. Again, not a reference to your daughter.